Not Your Average Detox

Not Your Average Detox

Part One 

I’ve been planning a detox for a while now. I’ve never done one before. So, I did some research and found some recipes that I thought would work for me. It started off great. The aroma from the ginger and spices simmering in the stove wafted through my apartment. I chopped fruit for breakfast and enjoyed it with honey and cinnamon. I was so excited to get started, I even talked myself out of coffee. 

“You don’t need the extra sugar”, I thought, “take an Exedrine for the caffeine.” So, that’s what I did. I’d had a couple of glasses of the spicy ginger concoction before the day took an unexpected turn. Instead of relaxing at home, enjoying my detox and working on my history presentation, I’d be going out for the afternoon. Out to lunch! 

So, I screwed up my detox with lo mein. It wasn’t even that great but I hadn’t had Chinese food in so long! I’d been craving it and couldn’t pass up the opportunity. Anything in the mall food court would have ruined my detox so I decided to just go for it! It came with a coke and I really felt like all my morning progress was going out the window…oh well. 

I came home and continued sipping my spicy ginger drink. At least it was healthy but today, I am starting over. However, I did start the day with coffee. I figured that there’s no reason to torture myself. The coffee is organic and the creamer is all natural. I will limit my sugar and caffeine intake for the rest of the day and the rest of my meals are already planned so today should be more successful than yesterday. 

I am also detoxing from social media! This portion of my detox has gone perfectly. I deleted several social media accounts that I felt like we’re no longer serving me properly and only kept two. Facebook helps me keep up with what’s going on with family and friends. Twitter is great for news. I deleted some games and other apps from my phone as well. There were just too many things to do in front of the tiny screen. I felt like it was beginning to interfere with my actual life. I don’t want to waste my life with my face in the phone. I want to have adventures with my fiancé, laugh with my friends, make stupid jokes with my sister, you know, make actual memories. Not, play words with strangers or re-post clever tidbits other people came up with. 

So, I stopped. 

I started the process last weekend. There were people I wanted to stay in contact with on Instagram and such. Everyday this week there’s been less and less to do on the phone. I’ve had to look outward for comfort and friendship instead of zombifying my mind with games and pointless social networks. At first, I was bored and kinda lonely. That lasted a day, maybe. After 24 hours of not using these sites and games, I felt happier. I actually watched a movie instead of half-assed listening to it while I stared at the phone. I am content doing one thing at a time and I don’t feel fidgety when I have down time. My mind is calmer and I honestly don’t feel like I am missing out. I don’t know why I ever thought I needed all that crap. I used to feel anxious if I didn’t check Facebook in the morning. Now, I realize that if someone needed me to know something, they’d call. They call even after I’ve liked their super important, life altering post anyway. 

A like still doesn’t replace a call. A post doesn’t replace human contact. People are social creatures but social media doesn’t satisfy every need. Generally, they only complicate things. People post prematurely and forget about etiquette. Jealousy arises because people work so hard to make themselves look good online when they could be falling apart in real life. Unfortunately, social media and smart phones aren’t going anywhere. I don’t think we really need all this technology. Not the way we are using it but it does have its benefits. Social media helps you stay in contact with friends and family, reconnect, raise awareness, raise money and network. 

I’ve just decided to break this down into a two part post. Since the detox isn’t over yet, I’ll share more about my experiences tomorrow. I had more to say about social media than I thought. I will share the recipes tomorrow too. You’ll get the recipe for my ginger tumeric detox drink, the green tea body wraps and my personal recipe for the citrus detox bath! 

Stay sexy spoonies! 

I just adore foxes and these have some great advice! 😉 This featured image is also from boredpanda.com. 

Sleepless and Second Guessing

Sleepless and Second Guessing

I’m starting to wonder if I am going to be able to do it all. I reluctantly cancelled an easy and fun sub job today because I got out of bed crying this morning. My outfit was already picked out, lunch was made and I’d done the job before so there was nothing to worry about. Except, all the shit that’s been stressing me out so much lately, my pain levels are through the roof. Right now, I am working two jobs and being begrudgingly chauffeured to both of them. Next month, I’ll be adding school to the mix. Luckily, it’s all online. I am relocating to another apartment complex between Christmas and New Years. I know I desperately need the rest but I also need the money that I am losing out on today. Missing work is almost as stressful as going on an achy, rainy day like today.

I was really excited about returning to school and the direction my life was headed until very recently. It’s like I’ve been in a bubble up in the clouds until now and it just burst. Even my body feels like it was cast out of the sky violently, like a kite struck by lightning. I am sorry this post isn’t full of the holiday spirit like it should be this time of year. I am just not in a very good place right now. I am still excited about school but not necessarily about my life right now and I know I have a lot of work ahead of me. Posts like this aren’t supposed to come until after Christmas when the thought of the new year starts making people feel inadequate and unaccomplished.

I know my body hates me because I sweat when I am cold. I sweat and shiver, toss and turn all night. Then when it comes time to get out of bed to start the day, I’m as stiff and brittle as a dry-rotted log. All I can do is cuddle up and think the typical thoughts one can have in the middle of the night. Alone and in pain, they are hardly positive. So, the longer I am awake at night, the higher my anxiety climbs. By morning, I am a nervous wreck and likely vomiting. Point being, once the stress creeps in, it causes a dizzying downward spiral that I can’t seem to slow down much less, escape.

I am taking a day for self-care today and I am trying not to feel guilty about canceling the substitute assignment that I agreed to. I know I’ve probably let some people down and inconvenienced them. Not to mention the fact that I have not had much time to devote to substituting this month which will leave me low on cash later. I will take a bubble bath and try to meditate but it won’t keep me from worrying or being broke. I will stretch and use my foam roller but it won’t just magically make all my tension disappear. I will read and try to nap but I don’t think it will leave me feeling rejuvenated or any more ready to take on the day tomorrow because I don’t know how to cope with all this stress. I mean, I’ve gotten better. I don’t have as many panic attacks as I used to but I still can’t seem to keep my worries from manifesting physically. I’m never sure if I’m making the right decisions. How happy am I supposed to be exactly? What is reasonable?