My First Blogiversary

My First Blogiversary

celebrate-1164102-638x365

It’s my first blogiversary! I didn’t even know it until I logged into Facebook and it showed me my memories from today.

I feel like I’ve come a long way in the past year. Learning to cope with chronic illness can really change a person. I have ups and downs daily but I am grateful for all the wonderful people in my life that have helped me along the way!

Honestly, it’s like being on a roller coaster constantly. I’m nauseated, disoriented, achy and the emotional highs and lows are often unexpected and always exhausting. But, amusement rides are fun, right?! This journey has certainly been amusing, at the least…

thanks-1306904

Over 200 followers and several blogging awards! Thank you all! I hope this blog will continue to grow and help others as much as it has helped me.

joy-1430953-640x480I don’t hate my chronic illness anymore and I wouldn’t change my life for a millions of dollars. I never thought I could be so happy… Especially after the diagnoses kept piling up but I have found strength. I have found friendship. I have found spirituality. I have found WordPress!

Stay sexy Spoonies and keep blogging!

Advertisements
Hormone Hell

Hormone Hell

This will probably be more of a rant than anything. I feel like I should also warn you that this post is full of more information than you wanted to know. Probably lost a few readers there but….

Ovarian Folicle
Ovarian Folicle
I am in so much pain. I feel like I’m the only one in my life that’s not used to all the pain and fatigue, the sleeplessness, night sweats, bad dreams. I just want to cry and cry but when I cry, other things hurt. I guess that’s just one of the benefits of an invisible illness.

My fiancé notices the cognitive issues like when I can’t navigate the grocery store or I can barely cook dinner because I can’t remember what to do next. Then, it’s burnt but he is sweet. At least I can be thankful for that.

I have not been in this much pain in quite a while. Since I found a good combination supplements and medications, the pain has been manageable, most days.  Now my hormones are screwing everything up, making everything worse. I’m lucky I’m not working but I’m still starting to get behind in my math class. If I am able to concentrate, its not long before my head starts to hurt. It has taken me all day to get this post put together. I shouldn’t even be working on this. Its a waste of time compared to studying but writing is so much more therapeutic. All I want to do is sleep and I can hardly keep up with the house work.

Studying has been a real challenge, lately.
Studying has been a real challenge, lately.
The month started off fantastically. I was ready to start losing the weight the birth control pills caused me to gain and I’d lost over 5 pounds the first week. I was eating healthy and exercising everyday despite the increase of headaches. I don’t know what kind of headaches they are but they don’t respond to any medication or treatments. Sleep is the only escape. I only started taking birth control to help regulate my hormones. I believe I have PCOS but I was just diagnosed with PMDD. It’s probably both. I have debilitating cramps every month that shut my world down. My cycles have not always been regular but they never cease to wreck my life for a week, when they do come. As if the dysmenorrhea wasn’t enough, I’m dealing with the embarrassing hirsutism too. I don’t understand why doctors insist on trying to treat these individual symptoms instead of doing more hormone testing and looking at the big picture.

I’ve finally got the fibromyalgia (somewhat) under control and I still can’t function half the time because my hormones are all screwed up. I bleed twice as long as I should and the imbalance is making my fibro flare half the month! My hips are on fire! My spine feels like it was ripped out and used to beat the dirt out of a thousand old rugs, then hastily glued back in. All I want to do is sleep. For the last week my daily routine only consists of doing the absolute minimum then crying myself back to sleep. Then I get up to make dinner.

Sleep is the only thing I have the energy for.
Sleep is the only thing I have the energy for.
My hormones are screwing with my IBS too. That’s not unusual but the shittier I feel, the less I care about what I eat so that just makes everything even worse.

See, I told you this wouldn’t be much more than a rant. It looks like it’s turning into a pretty long one too. Is is so much to want to be healthy? I just want to be healthy enough to function. I have things I’m trying to accomplish here. I need to finish school but I haven’t been able to study. My head has been bothering me a lot lately. I think that’s the birth control too. You’re not supposed to take them if you suffer from migraines. So, what am I supposed to do?

The pain is depressing. How can I dream of being a librarian if I struggle so much just to get through one semester of school? How can I ever get fit if I am too lethargic and sore to exercise? I don’t know how I will ever reach my goals with so many internal obstacles. I don’t have the energy to demand the doctors listen to me. My own body has already robbed me of my youth. Now its trying to smother my hopes and dreams too. I hate how negative I sound but that’s what the never-ending pain does. Its hard to stay faithful and push through. I am lucky to have such a good support system. My heart goes out to those that don’t. It is times like this, I am glad I am so stubborn. I will get through school even if I have to hire someone to read my text books to me. Having a clear plan and a goal in sight helps me stay focused even when my pain is high. Nothing good worth having ever came easy. That’s how the saying goes, right?

The Pills from Hell
The Pills from Hell
I’m not refilling the prescription again. It has been three months and they’re only making things worse. There’s got to be a better option. Anybody want to buy some ovaries? I’ll throw in my uterus for free! 😉 One treatment for PCOS (the doctors won’t admit I have it but they’re willing to treat me for it) is an IUD. This type of birth control is typically reserved for women with children but, I was told there are exceptions for women in my condition. Unfortunately, there are lots of dangerous side effects like ectopic pregnancy. I’m going to have to go back to the doctor. I need my yearly woman’s exam anyway. I hate those things. The doctor always looks at me funny when I tell her it’s painful. My cervix is high and back so they have to use the long skinny tool. They never listen and shove that short, fat thing up there with no success. Just pain. No one ever listens.

Are you ever ashamed or embarrassed about the actions or behavior you displayed when you were upset or in pain? I ate some lunch and took some meds so I am not in so much pain now. I am proof reading this post thinking, “Damn, girl! Chill out. You’re just PMSing right now but you’re gonna get this shit worked out too. You’ll live in a lighthouse one day with your wonderful husband, a myriad of rescued pets and you’ll be a librarian. You’ll get there.” Okay, thanks self. Everyone reading this thinks I’m insane now. 😉

Life with chronic illness is such a roller coaster and I feel like my hormones have thrown my coaster off the tracks!  If anyone out there is suffering from hormone issues, I’d love to hear your story. Thank you for letting me rant. I feel like such a drama queen. Stay sexy, Spoonies!

Encouraging Thunder

Encouraging Thunder

I was recently nominated for the Encouraging Thunder blogging award for my honesty. I started this blog to raise awareness and help women like me feel sexy. Having a chronic illness can darken your outlook if you’re not careful. I started this blog to combat that, to bring people together and create a community of strong women.

It’s been almost a year since I started this blog and I believe I have done that and more. This blog has evolved into more than I could have hoped for. I am grateful for the support I’ve received, friends I’ve made and all that I’ve learned. I’ve tried to facilitate understanding and educate the loved ones of those with chronic illness but when life gets in the way and I don’t have the spoons to research comfy lingerie or organic sex toys, my followers (you guys!) provided endless support and encouragement. For that, I am incredibly grateful.

All I can do now, is continue to bring you quality information and hope that this blog is as uplifting to you as it has been for me.

I would like to thank meANXIETYme for the nomination and thank everyone who reads, shares and comments on my posts. I greatly appreciate all your support. I was hesitant to start this blog because I am not a sexologist, therapist or expert of any kind. I wasn’t sure if I would have the spoons to keep up or if anyone would care about what I had to say. I’ve cried through writing many of the update posts and at first, the vulnerability sent my anxiety through the roof but now, I see how understanding and supportive people can be. Do I dare say that this blog has actually restored my faith in humanity? It certainly has shown me how kind the world can be. So, I graciously accept this nomination. Here is a little more info about this particular award.

Encouraging Thunder is originated from one of nature’s true powers, a crack of thunder from the sky. From the ancient Greek God myth, the most powerful god Zeus uses thunder to banish his enemy. Encouraging Thunder is a symbol that only god can judge us…
Thunder creates a powerful addition to the blog as an awesome blog award. Raymond, encouraginglife.co founder, was bestowed upon a thunder medallion by the great nature so he can create a powerful spell Encouraging Thunder to grant powerful protection to other bloggers. It’s a special spell that only bloggers who has true purpose in their life can master it.

http://encouraginglife.co/about/encouraging-life-blog-awards/

Award Rules

What you can do with Encouraging Thunder award?

  • Post it on your blog
  • Grant other bloggers with the award

What you can’t do with Encouraging Thunder award?

  • Abuse or misuse the logo
  • Claim that it’s your own handmade logo

What you should do after receiving Encouraging Thunder award:

  • Enjoy the award
  • At least gives thanks via comments and likes and or mentioning the blog who give the award.
  • Mention your purpose in blogging

This award does not require a certain number of nominations but there are a couple of bloggers that I feel really deserve it.

Nominations

Well, turns out there are more than a couple…. I just enjoy these blogs so much and after reading about this award, I feel like they really do deserve it, for their honesty, courage and generosity. And talent! Can’t forget that! 😉

Gentle Kindness

FibroFeels

Chaos, Cats and Chronic Pain

Tristyn’s Health Blog

aBodyofHope

Anna Bayes

Hubert’s Best

Thank you! Happy blogging! Stay sexy Spoonies!


Liebster Award

Liebster Award

The Modern Girl’s Guide to Being Sick has nominated me for the Liebster award! I feel so very honored. For some reason, every like, share and encouraging comment on my blog always catches me by surprise. I am glad people seem to be enjoying it. I started this blog to help fellow spoonies feel sexy and enjoy life. I’ve tried to do that with posts like this one and that one but this blog has really evolved into something more personal than that. The WordPress community has shown me support and and offered reassurance that could only come from another spoonie. I am grateful to have started this blog. I just wanted to write more. It is so therapeutic. The WordPress world has not only opened my eyes, its given me a home. Thank you!

Official Rules

If you have been nominated for The Liebster Award AND YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT, write a blog post about the Liebster award in which you:

1. Thank the person that nominated you, and post a link to their blog on your blog.

2. Display the award on your blog.

3. Answer the eleven questions about yourself  provided to you by the person who nominated you.

4. Provide eleven random facts about yourself.

5. Nominate five to eleven blogs that you feel deserve the award, who have a less than 200 followers.

6. Create a new list of questions for the bloggers to answer.

7. List these rules in your post.

8. Inform the bloggers that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster award and provide a link for them to your post.

I was asked:

1. Why did you start blogging?

I just love to write. The fibro fog can make it difficult to find the right words though.

2. What are you most proud of?

I am proud of myself for always getting back up. No matter what life has thrown at me, I’ve managed to make it work and maintain a decent attitude (most of the time). There are times when my anxiety gets the best of me but I’d say I am coping well. 😉

3. What’s your favourite animal?

I have always favored animals over people. You could tell me my best friend was going to be a python, dog or whale and I would be quite content. I don’t like most bugs. Especially, the flying ones! Spiders are pretty neat creatures, though.

4. What’s your favourite book?

Oh how I love books! Go Ask Alice, House of Leaves, The Princess Bride, On a Pale Horse, The Strange Manuscript Found in a Copper Cylinder, The Highly Sensitive Empath, Atheist Yoga, I Was Kidnapped by Lesbian Pirates From Outer Space, Stop Your Bitching Naturally…… There are more! But that’s all i can think of right now.

5. What three things could you not live without?

Chocolate, internet, tea (not counting all the un-fun things I need like oxygen and medicine and stupid money).

6. What food do you dislike the most?

I do not like the sauce on most frozen pizza and that sucks because I love pizza and convenience.

7. What was the first record/cd you bought?

I believe it was a best of album by The Eagles. I was heavily influenced by my mother. Still like The Eagles though.

8. What is your favourite time of the year and why?

I love summer! I like it hot! Cold weather hurts my bones and makes me sad. I want to bask in the sun like a lizard all day, everyday.

9. If you could go back to anytime in history which time period would you choose?

Well, I think it would be neat to visit different time periods and see the dinosaurs or see Stonehenge be built. Imagine witnessing the Eiffel Tower or Statue of Liberty being built. There are lots of times I’d like to visit but I wouldn’t want to stay because people didn’t like that long and it was dangerous. I don’t think I’d do very well without central heat. I think I would fit in well in the 1920s because I love old gangster movies. I could have made a good mafia wife. The 1950s probably would have been alright too. I like the cars and the fashion from the 50s. 

10. What is your favourite film genre?

When I was younger, I loved watching scary movies. I still do but the new ones just can’t compete with the classics. So, I’d say I love comedy. What spoonie couldn’t use a laugh? I love every Will Ferrel movie that I have ever seen! He cracks me up, so comedy must be my favorite!

11. What do you consider to be the greatest beauty product of all time?

Red lipstick. It is all you really need.

I have answered my eleven questions so, here are eleven random facts about me:

1.) I have terrible allergies.

2.) I don’t watch TMZ.

3.) I only drink non-GMO beer.

4.) I have too many stuffed animals in my house for a person my age with no children.

5.) Without Siri, I couldn’t remember a thing!

6.) My lips are always chapped.

7.) I love the smell of old books.

8.) I have large feet.

9.) I like it when it rains as long as I don’t have to go outside.

10.) I love British television.

11.) I’m incredibly awkward.

Now that I have done the facts,  it is my understanding that I must nominate eleven blogs with under 200 followers. So, my nominations are:

MSy Though of the Day

OzzyPlayaGirl

Adventures in Existence

Kira Kira the Spoonie

InflamedintheMembranes

The Sovereign Patient

Health and Fitness by Aimee

The Pretty Little Sparrow

My Battle with Fibromyalgia

Healing on a Budget

Life As Is

I truly enjoy every one of these blogs. It was harder than I though to just pick eleven. I was surprised that many of these blogs don’t already have over 200 followers. They are helpful and inspiring but most of all, they let you know that you aren’t alone. Most, if not all are also spoonies. When I was nominated for this award, I wasn’t really sure what it was. When I searched it, I learned it has German origins. The word “liebster” has several meanings and the rules may vary. The official rules can also be found here.

I almost forgot! Now, I am supposed to come up with my own set of questions for my nominees! Well, okay then. Here is goes:

1.) Do you have any pets?

2.) How many siblings do you have?

3.) What’s your favorite scary movie?

4.) Favorite book?

5.) If you could retire now, money is no object, where would you go?

6.) What is the first thing you would do if you won the lottery?

7.) What is the most daring thing you have ever done?

8.) When was the last time you stayed up all night?

9.) Did you ever skip school? Get caught?

10.) What inspired you to start your blog?

11.) How many posts have you written?

Okay, let me check the rules one more time. I don’t want to forget anything.

Okay, looks like that’s it.

Happy blogging!