Not Your Average Detox

Not Your Average Detox

Part Two

I don’t know how he does it. I’m not even sure he knows he’s doing it or how much I need it but my fiancĂ© always knows when I need a break. I probably get cranky! 😉 

Anyway, I could have worked but he talked me into going to the beach. I hadn’t been to the island in years. It was the best decision I’ve made all week! It was cool and windy. Parts of the beach were al little crowded but nothing like it would have been in the middle of the summer. We parked and walked out to one of the rock jetties. The salty wind in my face and the crashing waves were like therapy. I felt like I was being rejuvenated as I stood there. I could have stayed there all day. 

After lunch, we decided to take the ferry back to the mainland.  Never before have I ever seen so many dolphins! It was such a neat experience. It was the first time I’d ever seen more dolphins than crabs at the beach. Don’t get me wrong, crabs are cute and interesting to watch but I felt privileged to see so many dolphins! 

By the time the ferry reached land and we had to get back in the car to prepare for departure, I felt so replenished. Even kinda lucky! I really appreciated the day and all of its events. I was especially thankful for my thoughtful fiancĂ©. 

You’re probably wondering what all this has to do with my detox but this was exactly what I needed as I was sheading all this unnecessary crap. I felt like the ocean washed away all the baggage, worry and anxiety sitting in front of a screen saddled me with. Social media was making my world too big. I would worry about all of the homeless pets that had been abused or were in danger of euthanasia. I was overwhelmed by all the reposted news stories concerning child abuse and the plethora of children with cancer. I didn’t realize how much it’d all been weighing me down. 

But, when I left social media behind and ventured out into my own backyard, I saw dolphins, pelicans, sailed across the bay and enjoyed a beautiful day with my fiancĂ©. I realized that I could be happier and more productive with less. I could experience life more by sharing less. I can make a difference in my own neighborhood by picking up a little trash or helping a neighbor instead of reposting to raise awareness. Awareness campaigns are great but just because people are aware doesn’t mean anything is actually being done to improve the situation. I know I can’t change the world but I can change someone’s world. Helping one person or animal makes a difference in their life and that’s what matters. Social media, like most other things, is fine in moderation. It always comes down to finding balance. 

Obviously, this is turning into a three parter but I am not teasing you. I will share my recipes in part three. The social media portion of my detox has been more powerful than I realized. I’m not second guessing myself or wondering where I fit in. I am just enjoying life. So many things that seemed to matter so much just don’t anymore. My first thought when I see something spectacular isn’t “Oh, I need to post this!” anymore. It’s more like, “Don’t look away! Enjoy this. Take it all in. Relish in this experience and the people you are sharing it with. Capture this memory in your mind forever instead of interrupting the moment with a flash and a post”. 

I recently upgraded to a new iPhone. I backed up all of my pictures, apps, contacts, everything. No one wants to lose important pictures or contacts. Unfortunately, I did. I used an app to create photo collages. It was like a scrapbook of my life over the last five years. It has always made the transfer but this time it didn’t. It’s all gone. Five years worth of memories, gone! I emailed the app developer and they were just as puzzled. Nothing could be done to recover what I’d lost. 

Sure, I’ll still capture some moments on camera and I love looking at the photos I’ve printed and hung around the apartment. Those memories make me smile but I didn’t get any pictures of the dolphins either and thinking of them makes me smile too. Photos don’t capture the companionship I felt sharing that experience with my fiancĂ©. Photos don’t capture the wind, the salt water or the sunshine. All of those things are captured in my mind. That’s better than a photograph. 

Actually living life seems to be quite a bit more fulfilling than trying to prove to others that I am living and enjoying life. 

Stay sexy and stay tuned for part three and all the recipes, Spoonies! I promise they’re on the way! 

Advertisements
Not Your Average Detox

Not Your Average Detox

Part One 

I’ve been planning a detox for a while now. I’ve never done one before. So, I did some research and found some recipes that I thought would work for me. It started off great. The aroma from the ginger and spices simmering in the stove wafted through my apartment. I chopped fruit for breakfast and enjoyed it with honey and cinnamon. I was so excited to get started, I even talked myself out of coffee. 

“You don’t need the extra sugar”, I thought, “take an Exedrine for the caffeine.” So, that’s what I did. I’d had a couple of glasses of the spicy ginger concoction before the day took an unexpected turn. Instead of relaxing at home, enjoying my detox and working on my history presentation, I’d be going out for the afternoon. Out to lunch! 

So, I screwed up my detox with lo mein. It wasn’t even that great but I hadn’t had Chinese food in so long! I’d been craving it and couldn’t pass up the opportunity. Anything in the mall food court would have ruined my detox so I decided to just go for it! It came with a coke and I really felt like all my morning progress was going out the window…oh well. 

I came home and continued sipping my spicy ginger drink. At least it was healthy but today, I am starting over. However, I did start the day with coffee. I figured that there’s no reason to torture myself. The coffee is organic and the creamer is all natural. I will limit my sugar and caffeine intake for the rest of the day and the rest of my meals are already planned so today should be more successful than yesterday. 

I am also detoxing from social media! This portion of my detox has gone perfectly. I deleted several social media accounts that I felt like we’re no longer serving me properly and only kept two. Facebook helps me keep up with what’s going on with family and friends. Twitter is great for news. I deleted some games and other apps from my phone as well. There were just too many things to do in front of the tiny screen. I felt like it was beginning to interfere with my actual life. I don’t want to waste my life with my face in the phone. I want to have adventures with my fiancĂ©, laugh with my friends, make stupid jokes with my sister, you know, make actual memories. Not, play words with strangers or re-post clever tidbits other people came up with. 

So, I stopped. 

I started the process last weekend. There were people I wanted to stay in contact with on Instagram and such. Everyday this week there’s been less and less to do on the phone. I’ve had to look outward for comfort and friendship instead of zombifying my mind with games and pointless social networks. At first, I was bored and kinda lonely. That lasted a day, maybe. After 24 hours of not using these sites and games, I felt happier. I actually watched a movie instead of half-assed listening to it while I stared at the phone. I am content doing one thing at a time and I don’t feel fidgety when I have down time. My mind is calmer and I honestly don’t feel like I am missing out. I don’t know why I ever thought I needed all that crap. I used to feel anxious if I didn’t check Facebook in the morning. Now, I realize that if someone needed me to know something, they’d call. They call even after I’ve liked their super important, life altering post anyway. 

A like still doesn’t replace a call. A post doesn’t replace human contact. People are social creatures but social media doesn’t satisfy every need. Generally, they only complicate things. People post prematurely and forget about etiquette. Jealousy arises because people work so hard to make themselves look good online when they could be falling apart in real life. Unfortunately, social media and smart phones aren’t going anywhere. I don’t think we really need all this technology. Not the way we are using it but it does have its benefits. Social media helps you stay in contact with friends and family, reconnect, raise awareness, raise money and network. 

I’ve just decided to break this down into a two part post. Since the detox isn’t over yet, I’ll share more about my experiences tomorrow. I had more to say about social media than I thought. I will share the recipes tomorrow too. You’ll get the recipe for my ginger tumeric detox drink, the green tea body wraps and my personal recipe for the citrus detox bath! 

Stay sexy spoonies! 

I just adore foxes and these have some great advice! 😉 This featured image is also from boredpanda.com. 

Spoonie Dating

Spoonie Dating

I know how scary it can be to put yourself out there but we can’t let our chronic illnesses, anxiety or whatever else keep us from living life to the absolute fullest. You deserve to have someone in your life that really cares for you and wants to see you happy.

I’ve been compiling a list of spoonie friendly dating sites and I’ve discovered a few friend making sites as well. I am lucky enough to have an amazing partner but I could always use more friends!

Spoonie Dating Tips-

Most of these will probably sound cliche but they’re important, none the less.

  • Let’s start with the biggest cliche and just get it out of the way. Be yourself. Yep, I said it. I know. I wanted to place emphasis here because sometimes, with chronic illness, we feel like we don’t even know ourselves. I know I’m not the same person I was before I was struck with all my lovely ailments. So, it’s important not to hide your disabilities and your anxieties. You are wonderful. If your date can’t handle it, you want to find out as soon as possible.
  • Get used to rejection. It’s nothing personal, really. Some people just aren’t willing to take the time to get to know you. They might just be looking for a booty call. If that’s all you’re looking for, great! But, if you want more, don’t settle for someone who isn’t willing to put in the quality time.
  • If they want to spend time with you, they’ll find a way! No matter how busy either of you are and despite any limitations, if you meet someone genuinely interested in you, they will do all they can to find a way to spend time with you.
  • You are worthy! Remember that and don’t settle for an abusive relationship just because you are lonely. There is someone out there waiting to treat you like the Queen (or King) you truly are.
  • Leave the past behind you. It’s hard, maybe impossible to build a healthy relationship if you are always carrying around old baggage or worrying that your new partner is going to cheat on you, leave you or tell you you’re not good enough. You are more than good enough. Never forget that. Dwelling on the past won’t help your future.
  • Relax. First date, blind date, reconnected on Facebook after 20 years, whatever, just RELAX. Have a good time. Don’t worry about getting asked on a second date or the goodnight kiss. Play your heart out at mini golf, cry during the movie. If your date sees you having a genuinely good time, they’ll relax too and everyone will have more fun even if you don’t connect on a romantic level.
  • Trust yourself. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t feel bad for canceling or going home early. You are not obligated to do anything. Who cares if you seem a little rude? You have to take care of yourself first.
  • Be honest. Be upfront about your condition and your illnesses. You don’t have to pull out your medical records or tell your whole life story on the first date but ensure you aren’t pushing your boundaries too far. If you need your cane, take it. You are still rocking that dress!
  • A relationship is not like a home improvement project. You have to accept the person for who they are and the way they are and they must show you the same respect. You can’t paint over their flaws and polish their rough edges. You must embrace them because that’s what makes them a unique individual. Too unique for you? Be courteous and let them go. There is someone more fitting for you out there.
  • Compromise. You may have to make compromises to make the relationship work but never compromise your values. Compromise on dinner not your stance on abortion or whatever.

I know you know all this but the dating world can be intimidating at first. It’s important to stay true to yourself if you want to find someone you can be truly happy with.

Spoonie Dating Sites-

  • Dating 4 Disabled “Dating For Disabled is an online dating service for people with disabilities. We are a community where disabled singles can find love & friendship. Dating4Disabled is the number one disabled dating site, and registration is one hundred percent free!”
  • Disabled PassionsA 100% FREE online dating & social networking community specifically for singles with a disability. Meeting new people can sometimes be more difficult when you are dealing with a disability. Whether you are interested in dating, making new friends, or more, Disabled Passions is here for you. Use the Disability Groups option to find others dealing with Arthritis, Cancer, Cerebral Palsy, Depression, Diabetes Type 1, Diabetes Type 2, Mobility Issues, Muscular Dystrophy, Spinal Cord Injury or any of a number of other issues. Sign up now to enjoy free chat, message boards and email.
  • Soulful Encounters “SoulfulEncounters.com works with various disabled people and organizations to connect those who are physically and medically disabled and provide support, friendship, and a love filled social networking community. This is your opportunity for a brighter and richer life. Join SoulfulEncounters.com now – it’s free.”
  • Christian Disabled Dating “Being Disabled Doesn’t Mean You Have to Give up on Love. Create Your FREE Profile Today and Start Meeting Other Disabled Christian Singles in Your Local Area.”
  • Disability Match “Find genuine fun and intimacy with disabled singles. Specialist created this site to help people like you meet single adult men and women who share your disability, condition or life challenge within a friendly vibrant disabled community.”
  • Disability Dating “Disabiltydating.com is a free disabled dating site aimed at playing disabled cupid to people with disabilities who are seeking fun, friendship, love, romance and dating online. We aim to enable love, dating, friendship and romance by matchmaking in a safe, fun, online dating environment.”
  • Meet Disabled Singles “We’ve quickly become the most popular matchmaking agency when it comes to helping handicapable people. Spend a couple of minutes and let us be your cupid that helps you find new friends, lasting love or possibly even marriage. We can’t guarantee that you’ll find your bride, but we can guarantee that you’ll have your chance to get in touch with people looking to improve their life by finding love. Our members are united and ready to show you that your love life doesn’t have to suffer because of your disability. Create your account today for free, build your profile and start chatting with other members instantly.”
  • No Longer Lonely “We are a welcoming community that understands the trials and pitfalls of managing a mental illness. Find friends or seek romantic relationships knowing that everyone on this site has some form of mental illness.”

Friend Making Sites-

  • Girlfriend Social “Girlfriend Social is website that connects women with new female friendships. This website is for Ladies only, who just like you, are looking to make platonic women friendships. Inside women can make new friends with fabulous ladies in a safe and friendly environment.”
  • Make Friends Online “Whether you’re looking for a free great online dating agency or a place to hang out and chat with a few friends, you’ll find everything you need at MakeFriendsOnline. Millions of people from around the world are looking to meet other singles on dating websites. It’s never been easier to meet other singles on your terms, when you want and with who you want. MakeFriendsOnline.com has over 1,5 mln register members and is one of the largest online dating sites.”
  • Not 4 Dating “Not4Dating.com is a totally new way to expand your social network. We’re here to help you meet platonic friends online and then connect in real life.”
  • Disabled United “A great way to interact with other like minded people, share your views, information, advice and interests.”

Put your-sexy-selves out there, Spoonies! Have fun and stay safe!