Happy Awareness Day

Happy Awareness Day

When I was first diagnosed, I was depressed, distraught and in excruciating pain. I had no idea what fibromyalgia was or how much it would change my life. 

I have always had a history of getting sick when I was depressed. I felt so useless at one time in my life, I completely stopped caring about myself and caring for myself. I ate poorly and infrequently. I was drinking a lot of alcohol. Too much. I knew it was too much. My immune system got so low, I got shingles. After trying to remain so numb for so long, I’d never felt such pain. I still have scars around my torso and it was just the beginning of people telling me “You’re too young for that!” Hearing that is like being stabbed in the heart. I know I’m too young to feel this way. That doesn’t change anything. 

The alcoholics in my life left me with a distorted view of what a functional human being should be. I won’t go into the details of my childhood or how I spiraled out of control or how I almost died. It’s all too much. Maybe, I’m just not ready. Maybe, I’ll write a book one day. Maybe, it’s not that important anymore. All I will say is that my childhood, my life, has been magical. Very much like a fairy tale with good and evil. I have always battled depression and social anxiety, like I was just born that way. 

I was actually really happy and healthy when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I was in the best shape of my life. I’d learned a lot about myself and found someone wonderful to share my life with. I was eating healthier and working out. I’d lost 80 pounds. Half of which I’m pretty sure I lost through lifestyle changes but the other 40 pounds should probably be attributed to intestinal issues. I was diagnosed with IBS but that doesn’t complete the puzzle. I am quite certain I also suffer from gastroparesis but without insurance, doctors don’t want to waste  time on me. I can’t afford all the tests and honestly, I should see a neurologist for all of this head pain I can’t control and worry about not being able to eat later. At least I’m skinny! 😉 I’ve never been able to say that before. I know being healthy is much more important and I’m going to try and address these issues as soon as possible. 

Anyway, I’d been in a couple car wrecks and injured my back working out. I just couldn’t get better. I spent months in bed before finally going to the doctor. So, came the fibromyalgia diagnosis and the long hard road to where I am at now. I’ve had to make a lot of changes in my life to cope with the fibromyalgia, the brain fog, the pain. I still can’t work full time but I am back in school, I do yoga, I write. The most important discovery that I have made is learning that I am an empath, a highly sensitive person. I feel the emotions of others. They manifest through me. I self medicated to escape these feelings. Now, I’ve learned to embrace them. I have a desire to understand them. It helps be connect with people better and help them. 

Fibromyalgia sucks. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone but it’s helped me discover who I am, who I want to be. I am learning to embrace who I am instead of running from myself. 

I am the face of fibromyalgia! 

Stay sexy spoonies! 

Google said the image is from this board on Pinterest. 

Encouraging Thunder

Encouraging Thunder

I was recently nominated for the Encouraging Thunder blogging award for my honesty. I started this blog to raise awareness and help women like me feel sexy. Having a chronic illness can darken your outlook if you’re not careful. I started this blog to combat that, to bring people together and create a community of strong women.

It’s been almost a year since I started this blog and I believe I have done that and more. This blog has evolved into more than I could have hoped for. I am grateful for the support I’ve received, friends I’ve made and all that I’ve learned. I’ve tried to facilitate understanding and educate the loved ones of those with chronic illness but when life gets in the way and I don’t have the spoons to research comfy lingerie or organic sex toys, my followers (you guys!) provided endless support and encouragement. For that, I am incredibly grateful.

All I can do now, is continue to bring you quality information and hope that this blog is as uplifting to you as it has been for me.

I would like to thank meANXIETYme for the nomination and thank everyone who reads, shares and comments on my posts. I greatly appreciate all your support. I was hesitant to start this blog because I am not a sexologist, therapist or expert of any kind. I wasn’t sure if I would have the spoons to keep up or if anyone would care about what I had to say. I’ve cried through writing many of the update posts and at first, the vulnerability sent my anxiety through the roof but now, I see how understanding and supportive people can be. Do I dare say that this blog has actually restored my faith in humanity? It certainly has shown me how kind the world can be. So, I graciously accept this nomination. Here is a little more info about this particular award.

Encouraging Thunder is originated from one of nature’s true powers, a crack of thunder from the sky. From the ancient Greek God myth, the most powerful god Zeus uses thunder to banish his enemy. Encouraging Thunder is a symbol that only god can judge us…
Thunder creates a powerful addition to the blog as an awesome blog award. Raymond, encouraginglife.co founder, was bestowed upon a thunder medallion by the great nature so he can create a powerful spell Encouraging Thunder to grant powerful protection to other bloggers. It’s a special spell that only bloggers who has true purpose in their life can master it.

http://encouraginglife.co/about/encouraging-life-blog-awards/

Award Rules

What you can do with Encouraging Thunder award?

  • Post it on your blog
  • Grant other bloggers with the award

What you can’t do with Encouraging Thunder award?

  • Abuse or misuse the logo
  • Claim that it’s your own handmade logo

What you should do after receiving Encouraging Thunder award:

  • Enjoy the award
  • At least gives thanks via comments and likes and or mentioning the blog who give the award.
  • Mention your purpose in blogging

This award does not require a certain number of nominations but there are a couple of bloggers that I feel really deserve it.

Nominations

Well, turns out there are more than a couple…. I just enjoy these blogs so much and after reading about this award, I feel like they really do deserve it, for their honesty, courage and generosity. And talent! Can’t forget that! 😉

Gentle Kindness

FibroFeels

Chaos, Cats and Chronic Pain

Tristyn’s Health Blog

aBodyofHope

Anna Bayes

Hubert’s Best

Thank you! Happy blogging! Stay sexy Spoonies!