It’s been a difficult year. I can’t believe it’s already a third of the way over. Seems like life gets exponentially more difficult and more expensive as time passes. I guess I was supposed to become exponentially more awesome and successful to compensate. Whoops!
I’ve been having a really difficult time lately with my hormones. This battle is really kicking my ass. The side effects from the other medication were becoming too severe so my doctor took me off of those and put me on birth control. It’s finally the end of the first month and my body has been having trouble adjusting. I’m now starting my second period for the month. So exhausting! My night sweats and migraines have been worse. I’m incredibly emotional and I’ve gained five pounds.
It’s not like I haven’t been trying but I still feel like I’m barely keeping my head above water. I’m behind in my classes due to the increase in the severity and frequency of my migraines. I’ve even started foam rolling my neck. It provides quite a bit of relief but it’s not enough to allow me to study as much as I need to. I don’t even have time to write. I’m only posting now because it’s so therapeutic.
I finally added the cost of my supplements and meds to my monthly budget. I’ve been neglecting adding it all up because I didn’t want to know how much I was spending. I feel guilty about it even though I know I shouldn’t. I am spending $122.95 a month to function with fibromyalgia. I treat my cluster headaches and fibromyalgia naturally. I’m on prescriptions to help manage my IBS, migraines and allergies. I forgot to factor in the cost of my nasal spray but I buy it in bulk because I can get it so much cheaper. Also, I either forget to use it or can’t because I’m too stuffed up so what I have will probably last a while.
I decided to finally budget that in because the household has already gone through some changes with the addition of the dog but there is likely to be some other major changes. School will be out soon and I will lose that portion of my income and without a car, it’s becoming increasingly more difficult to make the twice a week journey to my nanny gig.
I love those babies and their family so much. The thought of not being with them breaks my heart. They are getting older now and probably won’t need me much longer. They’ll be going to school full time before I know it and that’s what makes this decision so difficult. I’m going to be forced to take some time off until I can get a vehicle.
My fiancé is considering taking a job that he doesn’t want, for me. I would have the ability to take some time off work and catch up on my schooling. We could save up for a car and I could go back to work. We would be able to buy a house sooner. We could finally enjoy the water instead of always feeling like we are drowning.
I’ve never felt like that before, like I wasn’t drowning. But, I’ve managed to be content with life for the most part. I’m wondering if these changes will really make us any happier. People always want more. When I have my house and I’ve finished my degree will I be happy or will I want more? I am already exhausted. For me, success will be maintainable contentment. I was going to add “and nominal pain levels” to that but I feel like that is probably asking way too much. 😉
What do you do when you feel like your drowning? How do you prioritize and make decisions?
Stay sexy Spoonies!