Ready for Action?

Ready for Action?

What if you’ve got chocolate, soothing lighting, soft music and maybe even a little wine but still not in the mood? Just want to go to sleep after that candle lit bubble bath and massage? Well, all the romance in the world can’t cure a low libido but even if it’s caused by your chronic illness, there are other remedies!

There are also many other causes. Don’t blame your chronic illness too quickly. Sex drive fluctuates in all people, men and women, healthy or not. So, if you haven’t been in the mood much lately, it’s probably nothing to worry about. Basic life events can influence your libido more than you realize so cut yourself some slack after career changes, relocations, breakups, diagnoses and deaths. Stress is a total mood killer! Medications often cause a change in sex drive so check all your prescriptions and supplements for side effects. Make sure you talk to your doctor before making any changes to your doses. There’s no shame in craving great sex!

fantasy jar

Supplements for Low Sex Drive
After talking to your doctor, she may recommend hormone therapy, medication or counseling. If there is no psychological, physical or abnormal hormonal cause, some supplements may be able to help get you in the mood.

  • Asian Ginseng and Ginkgo are good for so many things! They really should be a part of your diet.
  • Both men and women have been known to use yohimbe to heighten sensitivity.
  • Black cohosh is something I’ve recommended before for pain but it also increases blood flow and treats many symptoms of menopause.
  • Chaste tree berry increases libido in women with polycystic ovary syndrome (maybe I should try it!) and other hormonal imbalances.
  • Nitric oxide and L-arginine increase blood flow.
Freshly fallen Ginkgo leaves.
Freshly fallen Ginkgo leaves.

Of course, there are also specially formulated blends and oils but they often contain many of the supplements listed. Watch out for gimmicks when buying these products. Many of them don’t contain enough of the active ingredient to be thoroughly effective and they’re often more expensive. Explore your options and talk to your doctor and I’m sure you’ll find a solution that’s right for you!

Try vitamin E oil as lubricant!
Have fun, be sexy!

What to Wear?

What to Wear?

There was once a time in my life that I wouldn’t wear anything but jeans. I wouldn’t even think of leaving the house in shorts or a dress. I was insecure, and overweight. Jeans were like my security blanket but fibromyalgia changed all that. Fibromyalgia has changed me in many ways, emotionally, spiritually and physically but it is most noticeable through my wardrobe. I’ve always been a jeans and tee-shirt kind of girl. I also hated wearing shoes, even as an adult. These days, I always look like I’m headed to the gym but that is rarely the case. My days of tight jeans, flip flops and traditionally clasping bras are behind me now but maybe that’s not such a bad thing.
I’ve decided to use Barbra Billingsley, aka, June Cleaver as inspiration for my new wardrobe. Flowing dresses are the most comfortable and functional outer wear. Barbra Billingsley also suffererd from a painful disease called polmyalgia rheumatica (PMR). I’ve seen many episodes of Leave it to Beaver and never would have guessed she was in pain, typical spoonie, but the disease eventually led to her death. Thanks to medical advances, PMR is now treatable. So she is my spoonie inspiration in more than just my wardrobe. That’s is, until I can devote more time to designing the spoonie clothing line of my dreams!
I recently took a job that I need to look professional for. Since winter is coming, I plan to build a wardrobe full of high wasted dresses and leggings. I know Mrs. cleaver never wore leg warmers or knee-high boots but I bet the cold weather didn’t make her bones hurt either! I think I’d die if I had to wear slacks all day. I’m going be spending most of my time sitting in an uncomfortable chair so I am not that worried about footwear. I have a feeling I might regret that after my first day though.





These two outfits are my favorites! I did exceptionally well with just one afternoon of shopping but my sister was there to help. Now all I need are some leggings and a couple accessories. These brown leather riding boots go with just about every dress I bought today and they are the most comfortable boots I have ever worn. So, I guess my footwear issue has been solved. 🙂 I love the coral and blue dress because it reminded me of something June Cleaver would wear.

Spoonie Clothing Line Progress Report
I’ve learned a lot about fabrics. There are a lot more irritants than I realized. Ensuring I use the right material is going to be essential to comfort and function of the clothing line. I know I want to stay away from wool and most synthetic materials.
I have been brainstorming about slacks. My issues with pants seem to be the hardest to get around. I have to take into account the severe allodynia with my thighs, sensitive joints and lower back pain. I want the waist to be modeled after compression shorts to ease the arthritis pain in my hips and back. The legs will be wide and flowing to hide knee and ankle braces and alleviate allodynia and other sensitivities. Functional pockets will be on the back and hidden cargo style pockets near the knee. My goal is to minimize the amount of material that will gather and bunch near the hips. Since I’m going for a professional look, I didn’t want to put external pork chop style pockets on the front. I have just been brainstorming and sketching a little and these have just been my thoughts so far. Any and all ideas are welcome! I’d love to hear your input.

Also, I stumbled on TENCEL wile researching fabrics and I thought I’d share. It is a special fabric developed for people with sensitive skin. It is extracted from wood and claims to be silky soft.

Have fun, be sexy!





Sex & Headaches

Sex & Headaches

I have been getting headaches for as long as I can remember. I battle sinus headaches, chronic headaches due to my fibromyalgia, migraines, tension headaches due to anxiety and cluster headaches. I have many triggers including, certain smells, sounds, lighting, ponytails, stress, chemicals, bending down, strenuous activity and more. There is almost no chance that I won’t have a headache but I cope with most of them quite well. I’ve adapted.
I use soft lighting to help myself relax and Himalayan salt at home to clean the air. My home is my haven. Triggers are not so easy to control outside the home, unfortunately. That’s why, I’ve always got earplugs and my prescription sunglasses on hand. I should consider them part of my Calm Kit. These days, you’ll never catch me without my little oxygen trolley. The thought of forgetting it somewhere gives me a mini anxiety attack.
Last Wednesday, I had one of the worst headaches of my life. I cried and shook uncontrollably until the pain subsided enough for me to fall asleep. I slept all day and had no problem sleeping all night. Since then, I’ve had nothing but nightmares. I don’t cope with nightmares well. They leave me exhausted, emotionally sensitive and anxious. Point being, headaches are often more than just head pain and that can be debilitating enough. Unfortunately, stress and can be affecting more aspects of you life than you realize. So, it’s time to unwind! 😉
Sometimes sex can help relieve a headache but other times it seems to make it worse. That’s why it’s important to get the romance just right. The atmosphere must be tailored to your needs if you want any chance of relief. I know there’s no getting lucky with a migraine but sex can help relieve your average headache, stress and tension.

Setting the Mood

Bad lighting can be more than just a mood killer. It can also be a trigger for a killer migraine. Try a Himalayan salt lamp or candle holder. The dim, pink hue is perfect and the salt has been proven to help relieve head pain! Large lightly or unscented candles are great too.

Use a sound machine instead of music. Saxophones and violins are often found in romantic music but the pitch might be a trigger. Try a soothing rain or stream setting. If you don’t have a sound machine, try the App Store! Try to minimize other noises and outside interference.

Comfort is important. If you plan to be outdoors, have plenty of pillows and blankets. Make sure you are not facing the sun or under direct sunlight.

Freezing Water
Temperature control can be critical. If the A/C is too cold, I get a nasty headache. Not to mention, my joints start to ache and all I want to do is bury myself under the covers. I’m sure I’m not alone.

Overpowering scents are often a trigger. Minimize the use of perfumes, scented aftershave, air fresheners and scented candles.


If you plan on drinking alcohol, have chilled water on hand too to ensure that no one gets dehydrated.

If you have any tips, I’d love to hear them!
Have fun, be sexy!

Seamless and Asleep

Seamless and Asleep

I am working on a post about edible aphrodisiacs and anti-inflammatories but I have been sleeping a lot. I feel like all of my posts start that way. Anyway, I think my body is trying to catch up from all the lost sleep over headaches. I am so glad I have my oxygen now. Nothing has provided me with more relief. My anxiety is also a but lower because I am not terrified of the debilitating pain as long as I’m not too far from my little trolley tank.
Last week, I was struck with a cluster headache while driving. Luckily, I was not on the highway and I could quickly pull over. Unfortunately, all I could do was wait it out. The honks and large trucks were not easing my pain and eventually I had to move on. By the time I got to where I was going, I still had tears streaming down my face so I’ve decided to start lugging my oxygen cart around with me. Better safe than sorry, right?
I’ve been feeling rather crappy lately so no one tell my body it’s no use trying to make up for lost time. Sleep is a wonderful way to escape. This afternoon, I napped in my new compression shorts. When I put them on, the dull ache in my lower back and hips stopped. I wish I could sleep in a compression cocoon! They are kinda sexy too! Well, sexier than sweat pants. Mine are hot pink and I think they’d look damn cute paired with a lacy tube top. I wouldn’t leave the house like that though. I’m too modest 😉 I wish I had a pair for every day of the week but I got the last pair in my size, on sale. Academy, five bucks.
After some activity, I draw my arms in toward my body like a deformed tyrannosaurus, so I bought some youth shooting sleeves while I was at the sporting goods store too. They really seem to curb the pain. I thought the tight material would hurt my skin the way jeans do but it’s stretchy and forgiving. It keeps me warm and that seems to keep the dull aches at bay.
Seamless seems to be a key word for spoonie comfort and that’s why I thought I’d share my new discoveries. I wish all my pants had the, almost nonexistent but clearly still effective high waist band my compression shorts do. I wish all my long sleeves tops were breathable but held in warmth for my elbows like the compression sleeves do. Who says your wardrobe shouldn’t be more than a status symbol? Why can’t it be functional and beneficial? Pain relieving? I need to start designing my spoonie clothing line! It keeps getting more challenging. Seamless?! I’m not familiar with that spell.
Be comfy, be sexy!