Spoonie Romance Essentials

Spoonie Romance Essentials

When you’re in pain just about all over, you’re exhausted and your head is throbbing you might not feel like having sex. Fortunately, sex releases chemicals in the brain that can ease pain and stress. Being intimate can be calming and rewarding but it’s vital that your partner understands how your body is feeling. Convey where it hurts and be as open as possible. It’s understandable to be apprehensive about intercourse when you’re in so much pain but a lack of intimacy can make you feel pretty bad too. These are some of my favorite props and toys.

Stability Ball or Swiss Ball
You know, one of those big balls you see people doing plank variations on and other exercises at the gym. People even replace their desk chairs with one of these large balls. I had one at home for stretching and exercising. They’re quite fun and you can pick one up just about anywhere. I bought mine at Academy. It can also be used as a prop for certain positions but make sure it is properly inflated and the proper size for your height and weight. Don’t forget to account for the added pressure that will be applied during intercourse. The best position is for the female to sit on her knees, likely with a pillow under them, then take the ball in front of her and lean forward placing her hands on the floor in front of her to stabilize. This position takes pressure off the knees, back and hips and absorbs shock.

Body Paint or Lotion
If you’re feeling sore and tired but you still want some action, have your partner paint your most sensitive areas with body paint so that he knows to avoid them and not grab too hard. It’ll be a sensual experience because you’ll be naked but he’ll have to wait to touch you until you’re all painted. Another option is to have him rub you with lotion or essential oils. Calling attention to the sore areas in a seductive way will let him know where it hurts without turning him off. Peppermint, rosemary and eucalyptus oils are anti-inflammatory. Chamomile and lavender are relaxants and remember, it’s always best to use pure and natural oils.

Ribbons, feathers and an Eye Mask
Sometimes, you just need to be pampered or you miss being tied up but your ankles and wrists hurt. Well, ribbons, silk scarves and crocheted shawls make great restraints. They’re soft and forgiving fabric won’t leave marks or hurt delicate skin so it’s fun to play again. They untie easily and typically long enough to tie loosely. If you have a headache or you’re just feeling exhausted, put the eye mask on and let your partner tickle your troubles away. With allodynia or nerve pain, you may have to play around with different textures and pressures to find something that feels good against your skin. Cooler temperatures can also make skin more sensitive so make sure you don’t turn the thermostat down too low.

Spoonie Romance Essentials-

  • Natural Essential oils
  • Unscented Candles
  • Ribbons
  • Hypoallergenic toys
  • Soft pillows
  • Eye Mask

Don’t let the passion fade out of your life because of the pain! Drown some of that pain with pleasure. Just be safe and take it slow.

Don’t forget protection! 😉



Soft Lingere Options

Soft Lingere Options

Don’t be intimidated by uncomfortable looking lingerie anymore! Look sexy now!

In my opinion, cotton and spandex make the best lingerie material. It is soft and sexy especially, with a little lace. It is durable and affordable but there are infinite possibilities out there! Buying quality lingerie will be more comfortable, bunch less and last longer. Here are a few of my favorite places and styles to get you started.

http://www.hankypanky.com/Cotton/All They have the perfect cotton and lace thongs!

http://www.spicylingerie.com/2949.html For something extra sexy, try the Seductive Panty! Cotton never looked so seductive!

http://clarebare.bigcartel.com/ Lingerie and more made from ultra-soft bamboo and jersey.

I try to avoid a lot of thin straps and tight spandex because they cause itching and irritation. I like to find pieces with silk ties instead of clasps and hooks. The spine and hips can be sensitive areas to so I avoid bulky beads or anything that might pinch. Always remember to hand wash your delicates and use unscented or hypoallergenic detergent for sensitive skin.


Hey Sexy!

Hey Sexy!

Hello and welcome! I wanted to create this blog because it’s been a journey for me finding ways to be comfortable during intercourse since my fibromyalgia diagnosis. I want to share all of the tips and tricks I’ve learned because many women are in so much pain and feel so unattractive they stop having sex completely. When your sex life starts to suffer so does your self esteem and relationships. A lack of intimacy can easily ruin a relationship. We are already suffering enough, we don’t have to feel lonely too.
Some things you’ll find here in the future will include, positions, soft lingerie, supports and toys. Don’t worry, I’ll keep it classy. There will be no graphic pictures and my articles will focus on feeling sexy and being comfortable. My goal is to help women find pleasure and forget pain!